When words are scarce,
they are seldom spent in vain. - William
Shakespeare (Richard II)
I love my country but its current state is breaking my
heart. So, this is all said with all the love that I possess.
I teach a conversational English course. Today was the last
day of the semester for one of my classes. A lot of teachers give final exams on the last day of
class, but I like to give the final a little earlier so that I can spend the
last class guiding reflection. I believe reflection is a skill and if more
people spent time reflecting on their ideas we might have more meaningful
conversations in this world.
 |
| My beautiful Monday morning class. I had them share in groups one thing they've learned and one girl said, "I learned to ask questions." I wanted to cry. |
Today we spoke about a few things that I’d like to share
with a larger audience. Additionally, between posts on Facebook, "news reports”, and some frustrating
conversations I’ve had recently, I would like to share a few things I’ve been
thinking about. (I’m using the form of a list not because I love lists, which I
do, but it seems to be the best way to communicate with people these days.)
1.) In good conversation, listening is as
important as speaking.
A conversation is a form of communication, recognized for
its emphasis on interaction. I don’t care how loud you can speak. I don’t care
many times you repeat a point that has already been said. In a good
conversation, you listen to other people and respond.
2.) At least pretend
to make an effort to understand differing perspectives.
It is perfectly natural that people will not agree with you
100% of the time. If people around you are always agreeing with you, then you’re
probably a bully or a dictator. If someone disagrees, follow bullet #1, then
use your awesome reasoning skills to present a logical argument that the other
person might be able to understand more fully and therefore relate to.
And sometimes it’s ok to agree to disagree. You didn’t lose
anything because it was never a competition to begin with.
3.) Think for
yourself.
I don’t want to hear rhetoric. I want your well-reasoned
opinion.
Be aware of the Ethos, Pathos, and Logos going on around you.
All three can be indicators of a good argument, and at the same time all three
can be manipulated to make seemingly-compelling arguments from bullshit.
Ethos: An appeal to
the authority of the speaker. Just because one doctor, or one study, claims
a link between vaccines and autism does not mean that you should believe them
point-blank. I think this can also be used in reverse. Just because Obama does
something does not make it evil and synonymous with end-of-the-world doom. On
both notes, do your research. Consider
the many sides, because there are always more than 2.
Pathos: An appeal to
emotion. It’s everywhere. Please at least question facts and their sources,
and if no facts are presented that should be a BIG red flag.
Logos: A logical
appeal, or the simulation of it. Data can be useful, but it can also be
falsified, taken out of context, or misrepresented. Skepticism can be your
friend.
4.) Saying “I don’t
know” does not make you look stupid.
Unless you are defending a thesis, dissertation, or something you openly
claim to be an expert in, admitting you don’t know does not make your opinion
any less credible than it already was. In my book, I'll probably respect you more for it.
What does make you look stupid is repeating useless, canned
lines and repeating yourself over and over.
5.) Correlation and
causation are different.
The sale of ice cream correlates to the number of drowning
deaths. Does this mean that ice cream causes drowning? Well, I’m no expert. But
it sure sounds improbable to me.
Use your common sense and be on the lookout for data
claiming causation, when in fact only correlation can be proven. On the other hand, don't deny causation when it's obvious. If there's a correlation between the number of cars bought and the number of cars on the road today, there might be some causation in that scenario.
6.) If you want to
shoot down someone’s idea, then at least have the courage to present your own.
In junior high I needed to go to the school office to ask for a
favor. I don’t remember what it was. My mother advised me not to go to one
secretary because she was a “no-person”. There are “no-people” in this world
who will tell you “no” just because it makes their lives easier. Don’t be that
person. Propose a better solution.
I could go on; however, this is already too long. America,
please use your brains. I don’t want to agree with every person in every conversation
I read or hear. That's boring. I do want to be challenged.
